


let him fly

by airnomadenthusiast



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Gen, Tenzin-centric, what bryke would have written if they spoke to a single mixed person before writing that mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:21:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27443338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/airnomadenthusiast/pseuds/airnomadenthusiast
Summary: There are things Tenzin wants to become, and things Tenzin has to become. He doesn't know how to choose between the two.
Relationships: Aang & Tenzin (Avatar), Aang/Katara (Avatar), Katara & Tenzin (Avatar), Kya II & Tenzin (Avatar), Pema/Tenzin (Avatar)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is me saying to bryke "per my last email." enjoy. also thank you to everyone on tumblr who talked to me about mixed identity, those convos have really helped me think through this fic. also of note: Pema being 16 years younger than Tenzin is weird and I've decided it's not canon, so she's 5 years younger than him in this fic. It's not important to the story at all but I just wanted to make that clear.

_“Remember who you are, Tenzin. You are the son of Avatar Aang. You are the hope for future generations of Airbenders. The fate of the world rests on your shoulders.”_

Tenzin held Pema’s hand as they slid off of Oogi. She smiled at him. “It’s going to be okay.” 

He gave her a quick, closed mouth smile, but it was a lie. It had been a year since he’d seen his mother or sister, and he knew he didn’t write to them enough. But there wasn’t any time. Between helping Pema through her first pregnancy, painful as it was, to meeting her family, to serving as the only Air Nomad representation on the United Republic Council, or indeed, the entire world. His mother and Kya didn’t get what it was like, to have the future of an entire nation on his shoulders. 

Well. Maybe Kya would get it. If he let her. 

But Tenzin steeled himself. This trip wasn’t really about him. It was about Pema seeing where he grew up, spending time with her mother and sister-in-law before the baby came. She wanted their child to have some connection to the Southern Water Tribe, considering they would be part Water Tribe themself, and Tenzin wanted whatever she wanted. 

(Though, secretly, he was wishing for an Airbender child. Begging for one. If something were to happen to him—this child needed to be an Airbender. The world needed this child to be an Airbender.) 

Kya and his mother approached them and gave them both a big hug. “It’s good to see you, Tenzin,” Kya said. “Although I wished I saw you more often.” 

“He’s busy, Kya,” Mom said, beaming at him. “Saving the world is no easy task.” 

Tenzin held back a smile. “It’s not saving the world, Mom, I’m just on the Council.” 

“Just appointed,” Pema said proudly. “But he already has a bunch of projects ready to go to make the city better, you should just listen to him talk about it—” 

“Maybe we’ll listen to him talk about it inside,” Kya said. “It’s chilly out here.” 

Mom grinned at him. “Come on, inside. You know your sister hates the cold.” 

Kya rolled her eyes. “I don’t hate the cold, Mom, I just think it might be a little much for Pema. She’s never been this far south before.” 

“It gets cold sometimes in Republic City,” Pema said. “Plus, I grew up in the northern Earth Kingdom. The winters there were colder than you would think.” 

His mother smiled. “Northern Earth Kingdom, huh? Aang and I passed through there a few times. Dangerous place. He was always having to resolve one Spirit conflict or another.” 

Pema nodded as they walked inside and closed the door. “You know, that’s part of the reason I became an Air Acolyte actually. We kept hearing these stories in my village about an Airbender helping the Spirits and the people come to an agreement, and it was just… so inspiring.” She stared at Tenzin’s mother. “It’s an honor to meet you, ma’am.” 

His mother snorted. “Call me Mom.” Her eyes twinkled. “Would you mind if I felt your stomach?” 

Pema shook her head. “No, ma’am—Mom.” 

Tenzin’s mother grinned and felt Pema’s stomach gingerly. “Your next child will be an Airbender,” she said slowly. “A great one. Maybe as good as my Tenzin.” 

Pema’s face broke into a wide grin. “That’s incredible!” 

“Yeah,” Kya said, but it was choked. “Another Airbender. How amazing.” 

“Kya!” his mother chastised. “This is great news.” 

“Of course it is, Mom, I’m happy for them!” Kya said. 

“Well then, start acting like it!” 

Tenzin pinched the bridge of his nose. “Can this wait, Kya? We’re trying to celebrate.” 

“And I’m not stopping you!” she huffed. “It’s great news! Spirits, I don’t understand why it is that I can’t even say a Spirits-damned thing around here without someone getting on my back—” 

“Kya! Language!” 

Kya rolled her eyes. “Oh please, Mom, we’re all adults here.” 

His mother’s eyes were steel. “Kya.” 

For a moment, they just stared at each other, unyielding. Then, Kya seemed to deflate. “Fine. You celebrate the baby being an Airbender. I’ll get some more firewood.” 

She stomped out, and for a moment, Pema, Tenzin, and his mother looked at one another, not saying anything. There was a part of him—a large, significant part—that wanted to leave Kya to her own devices. He knew she’d cool down in an hour or two, come back in with her arms full of firewood like nothing had happened, and it would all be over for now. They could have this argument another day. 

And then he sighed, and went after his sister. 

“Wait, Kya!” 

She turned around, and he had a sudden flashback to his childhood, to watching his older sister leave and begging her to wait for him. “Ugh, what do you want?” 

“Let me help you.” 

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” 

They walked together in silence. Tenzin could still feel the anger coming off of her in waves, but he decided to wait until she brought it up. He knew she would. 

“So, how does it feel to be her favorite,” Kya finally asked, a bitter note in her voice. 

Tenzin sighed. “I’m not her favorite, Kya, because Mom doesn’t have favorites.” 

Kya barked a laugh. “That’s what the favorite would say. You know, I uprooted my entire life to take care of her after Dad died, and she still fawns over you. 

“Wasn’t much of a life, was it?” 

“Why, because it didn’t end with me having Airbender babies?” Kya stopped and looked at him. “Look Tenzin, I don’t need your disapproval or hers. I’m fine. It’s just hard being the forgotten one. You were Mom’s favorite, Bumi was Dad’s favorite—” 

“I’m not Mom’s favorite! And Dad told me that he didn’t have a favorite.” 

Kya rolled her eyes. “And you believed him? Tenzin, Dad would say anything he could to make us happy. Even if he knew deep down that it was a lie.” 

Tenzin’s shoulders slumped. “I suppose you’re right. But Mom—” 

“Mom makes it very clear who she likes best,” Kya said. “And it’s you.” 

Tenzin swallowed, his eyes towards the floor. “I suppose you’re right there, too.” 

__________________

_“But what if I fail?...Then, your father’s hope for the future dies with you.”_

Twenty years earlier

Tenzin watched as Bumi grabbed their dad’s hand and ran off to go penguin sledding. Both of them were laughing in absolute delight, Dad beaming at Bumi like he was everything in the entire world. 

Somebody crouched down beside him. “Do you want to go penguin sledding with me?” his mother said, a little laughter in her voice. 

Tenzin tore his gaze away from Bumi and his dad. They were too far away for him to see anyway. “Not really. S’too cold.” 

Mom laughed. “Come on,” she said, gently taking him by the shoulder. “We’re going to walk around the village. See if anybody needs anything. Okay?” 

Tenzin nodded. Mom always tried to get one of them to go with her around the village, but Bumi and Kya didn’t like doing it. They thought it was boring, and somehow Kya and Mom ended up fighting every single time they went together. But, even though he would never admit it to Kya or Bumi, he loved going with his mother around the village. It made him feel needed, and he got to see his mother working, and she was always so smart, and kind, and fierce in the way that she handled things. On big decisions, she worked with the elders, but on little things, like helping their neighbors with chores, it was her and Tenzin. 

Midaq needed help storing the fish he’d caught, and Ata was trying to get her kids to help her with the laundry, but they wouldn’t. Tenzin shook his head and immediately jumped to do the laundry himself. 

“Why can’t you be more like Tenzin?” Ata said, shaking her head at her children. One of them stuck her tongue out at him when she thought Ata wasn’t looking, and Ata huffed. “Kirri, quit it.” She smiled at Mom. “How did you get him to be like that?”

Mom smiled and shook her head. “I didn’t do anything, Ata. That’s just how he is.” 

Ata laughed. “Oh you are lucky, Katara.” 

Mom looked over at him, grinning. “Yes, I am.” 

When they’d finished helping Ata with her laundry, Mom walked with Tenzin, her hand on his shoulder. “You know, you’re pretty good at this.” 

He looked up at her, grinning with all of his missing teeth. “I am?” 

She nodded. “You are. I bet, if you worked really hard, you could be chief someday. If you wanted.” 

Tenzin frowned. “But I’m not a Waterbender.” 

Mom laughed, a high, lovely sound. Tenzin wasn’t sure what she was laughing at, but he didn’t make anyone laugh often, least of all his mother, so he just decided to enjoy it. 

When she calmed down, she looked at him, a little mirth and a little pity in her eyes. “Oh, sweetheart, you know you don’t have to be a Waterbender to be chief, right?” 

Tenzin was still confused. “But you’re a Waterbender.” 

“That’s true. But Grandfather isn’t a Waterbender, and he was chief.” 

Tenzin hadn’t thought of that. “But there’s never been an Airbender chief before.” 

His mother’s eyes twinkled. “How do you know? Maybe, hundreds of years before any of us were born, there was an Airbender who was chief of the Southern Water Tribe, and everybody thought it was so normal that none of them thought to make a note of it.” 

Tenzin considered this for a moment. His father had told all of them that the Air Nomads traveled the world and met all kinds of people, and he couldn’t square that away with the idea of an Airbender walking around the village every day, asking the same people if they needed help with their chores, and meeting with the elders every week like his mother did. Even his father took long trips, sometimes on his own, but more and more often with Bumi or Kya, to ride the elephant koi or the mail delivery system in Omashu, or to see the badger moles with Aunt Toph. (Dad said he would take Tenzin somewhere when he was older, but Tenzin didn’t mind. It was nice being home alone with his mother. When Dad, Kya, and Bumi were gone, Tenzin and his mother took long, silent kayak rides together. It was great.) 

After giving it some thought, he shook his head at his mother. “Nope. I’m going to be the first Airbender chief of the Southern Water Tribe.” 

His mother laughed and took his hand. “Okay, Tenzin. Whatever you say.” 

By the time they finished walking around the village, Dad and Bumi were already back from penguin sledding. Kya perked up when Mom entered the room. 

“Mom, you’re back!” she yelled, grabbing Mom’s wrist. “C’mon, I learned a new Waterbending trick!” 

Mom laughed again. “Kya, you know you’re not supposed to be trying anything new unless I’m there to supervise you, right?” 

Kya rolled her eyes. “But I invented a new trick, you gotta see!” 

Dad laughed. “Come on, Katara, just let her show you. We did _plenty_ of unsupervised Waterbending when we were kids.” 

Mom frowned at him. “That’s the _point,_ Aang, I’m trying to make sure she’s safer than we were.” 

Kya pouted. “So you’re not even going to look at it?” 

Mom’s eyes went wide. “No, no, of course I’m going to look at it. Just, in the future, if you could maybe wait until I get back to start practicing your Waterbending—” 

But Kya was already out the door, and Mom, with a sigh, followed after her. 

Bumi munched on a little bit of whale jerky. “I’m glad I’m not a bender,” he said. “I could never wait until Mom was ready to supervise me.” 

Dad laughed, but cut it short, trying to appear stern. “Your mother’s right, you know,” he said. “Just because we did a lot of dangerous things when we were kids doesn’t mean we want you kids doing dangerous things. The reason we fought so hard is so that you wouldn’t have to.” 

Bumi scowled. “But I _wanna_ do dangerous things.” 

“And you will get your chance someday, kiddo, but not while your mother’s watching.” He turned to Tenzin. “Speaking of bending, we should start training soon, huh, Tenzin?” 

Tenzin took the whale jerky out of Bumi’s hand. “Hey, I was going to eat that!”

“I had a very long day, and I’m hungry,” Tenzin said, munching happily on the jerky. He turned back to his dad. “Can we wait until the afternoon? My morning’s booked.” 

Dad snorted as he carefully took Tenzin’s jerky and split it between him and Bumi. “Your morning’s booked? With what? Do you have a meeting with the Earth Queen?” 

Tenzin blinked. “No, why would the Earth Queen want to meet with me? Wouldn’t she rather meet with you? You are the Avatar.”

Dad’s face fell. “It’s a—never mind. What _are_ you doing tomorrow morning?” 

“Mom’s letting me come to her meeting with the elders,” Tenzin said, swelling with pride. “I can’t speak unless I’m spoken to though, and she made me promise I wouldn’t fall asleep.” 

Dad narrowed his eyes. “Wait, why are you going to the meeting with her? I can watch you, she knows that—” 

“I’m going to learn how the council works!” Tenzin said, taking another bite of jerky. “So that I can be chief.” 

The look on Dad’s face shifted from confusion to concern. “What do you mean, ‘chief’?” 

“Mom said that I was really good at helping out the village and if I wanted to I could be chief someday, and then she said that I could start learning how now and then she said I should come to the meeting with her, only I couldn’t speak—” 

“Yeah, I got that bit,” Dad said. His face was unreadable. “Bumi, can you watch Tenzin for a minute? I have to go talk to your mother.” 

Bumi shrugged, and Dad took it as a yes and left them. As soon as he did, Bumi ran and pressed his ear against the wall. 

“Bumi, what are you doing?” Tenzin asked.

“They’re gonna talk about you, I just want to hear what they say.” 

“How do you know they’re talking about me?” 

Bumi rolled his eyes. “You really are slow on the uptake. You just told Dad that Mom’s helping you become chief, and Dad got mad, and now he’s going to talk to Mom. Obviously, they’re talking about you.” 

Tenzin chewed his jerky a little more slowly. “I don’t think you should listen to them,” he said, trying to speak clearly with his mouth full. “If they wanted us to hear, they would talk in front of us.” 

Bumi sighed. “I really hope you grow out of this ‘following the rules’ thing. You’re no fun. Aren’t you a little curious about what they’re saying about you?” 

Of course, Tenzin was. But he stood his ground. “I’m not listening.” 

Bumi shrugged. “Whatever you say, I guess.” He pressed his ear closer to the wall. “Dad’s saying that it’s gonna be your responsibility to lead the new Air Nation when you grow up—” 

“Bumi, stop!” 

“And Mom’s saying that you’re Water Tribe too and you seemed really excited about being chief—” 

“Bumi!” 

“And Dad’s saying that you’re only seven and you can’t know what you’re going to do as an adult yet, oh, and now Mom’s saying that he’s just mad because you don’t want to do what he wants to do, oh, this one’s going to get a whole lot worse, good job Tenzin—” 

“I didn’t do anything!” 

Bumi scoffed. “I mean, I guess you didn’t know better because you’re little.” His eyes flashed. “Dad really wants to teach you Airbending. He says that after he’s gone, you’re going to be the only one left.” 

Tenzin frowned. “But there are three of us.” 

Bumi rolled his eyes. “Could you get any slower? Kya and I can’t _Airbend._ We know the culture and stuff but the bending part? That’s all you. If something happens to Dad before he teaches you Airbending then even if you have tiny Airbender babies—” 

“Ew!”

“Oh my gosh, grow up, you’re gonna have to someday. And when you do, you’ll have to teach them Airbending, and they’ll teach their kids Airbending, on and on, and that’s how you rebuild the Air Nation. But it doesn’t work if you don’t learn Airbending. And if you’re _booked_ going to council meetings with Mom, then—” 

“I get it,” Tenzin said. His shoulders slumped. “So I can’t be chief?” 

Bumi paused. “I bet it’s really boring anyway. You’d probably hate it.” 

“Yeah,” Tenzin said, blinking back tears. “Probably.” 

A little while later, their parents came back, and Mom looked at Tenzin with a pitying expression. Dad didn’t look at him at all. 

“Hey, Tenzin, how about tomorrow morning you start training with your dad, and in the afternoon I’ll take you to go play with Senna. Does that sound fun?” 

Tenzin didn’t say anything. His dad finally looked at him, his eyes tired and soft and pleading. 

“It’ll be fun, kid,” he said. “I promise.” 

Tenzin nodded. “Okay, then.” 

Mom smiled at him. “Thank you, Tenzin. I’ll let Uncle Sokka and Aunt Suki know that you’re coming over tomorrow, okay?” 

Tenzin nodded again, but he wouldn’t look at either of them. This was so unfair. Just because he was an Airbender, just because there was a _future—_

Everybody said the world depended on Dad, and it did, he _knew_ that, but the world depended on Mom too. Dad wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for Mom. Tenzin couldn’t be the Avatar. Tenzin couldn’t be the last Airbender. But he could be Mom. 

That was the thought that followed him into the night, keeping him wide awake, staring at the ceiling when he knew he should have been asleep hours ago. 

_I can be Mom._

By the time he got to sleep, it seemed like only seconds had passed until Dad was waking him up. “Urgh, Dad, it’s early,” Tenzin mumbled. 

“I want to make sure we can get as much practice in as possible,” Dad said, shaking him awake. “Come on, it’ll be fun!” 

In a few moments, Tenzin would roll out of bed, shrug on his clothes, go outside and begin his new life. But he savored the last seconds. Before everything changed. 

When he got outside, his dad showed him to this massive structure of thin slabs of wood on thin metal rods, spinning softly in the wind. 

“You like it?” Dad asked. “I’ve been gathering the pieces from the Air Temples for years. With the help of the Air Acolytes, of course. And your mother. Your Aunt Toph actually helped me bend the metal parts back into shape. It’s an ancient relic that’s been used to teach Airbenders for generations.” 

Ancient. Tenzin liked that. His favorite stories were always about thousands of years ago. Maybe the oldness of this would help him.

“The goal is to move through it without letting any of the slabs hit you,” Dad continued. 

Tenzin frowned. “Okay. That seems easy.”

Dad grinned. “I forgot about the best part.” 

He threw his arms out, and the slabs started spinning around at five times the speed. Tenzin gawked at it. “That’s impossible!” 

“Oh really?” Dad said, raising an eyebrow. “Watch this.” 

In one, fluid motion, Dad stepped up to the wood and moved through it, carefully sidestepping everything, letting nothing touch him. When he got to the other side, he yelled, “The key is to be a leaf in the wind. Just let yourself go!” 

Tenzin scowled. He didn’t let things go, much less himself. 

He stepped up and took a deep breath. _Be a leaf._

He walked through, and immediately got hit. Once. Twice. A particularly nasty hit got him on the shoulder, and another one on his knee, knocking him down to the ground. 

He started crawling, like a little baby, but that just meant getting hit on the head. He heard his dad’s voice again. “Leaf, Tenzin, leaf!” 

When he finally got out, he was lying on the floor. “Can Mom heal me?” he groaned. 

Dad laughed. “You’re fine. The first time I did it I twisted my ankle. And I was only three!” 

Tenzin scowled. “That’s not funny.” 

“Oh, lighten up, kid. Come on, try again.” 

“But I don’t want to,” Tenzin said. “Isn’t there some other exercise we can do?” 

Dad sighed. “Tenzin, honey, this exercise is the foundation for everything else in Airbending.” 

“Maybe I don’t want to be an Airbender!”

As soon as he said it, he regretted it. Dad’s face fell, and his eyes filled with something that looked like tears, although it couldn’t be, because Tenzin could never imagine his dad crying. He turned away from Tenzin for a long time, not saying anything, and for a moment, Tenzin wished he could take it all back. _I didn’t mean it. I do want to be an Airbender. Like you._

“Maybe there is something else we can do,” Dad said. “To calm our nerves.” He sat down, crossed his legs, and closed his eyes. 

Tenzin frowned. “I don’t think I’m ready to go into the Spirit World,” he said. 

Dad smiled at him and shook his head. “We’re not going into the Spirit World, Tenzin. This is just regular meditation. To clear our thoughts. You want to try it?” 

Tenzin nodded. “Okay.” He got on the ground, crossed his legs and closed his eyes. “Dad?” 

“Yes, Tenzin?” 

“How do you stop thinking?” 

Dad chuckled. “You can’t control whether you think or not. The key is to focus on your breath. The thoughts come and go, but the breath stays constant. Okay?” 

“Okay.” Tenzin took a deep breath. In. And out. In. And out. 

They spent the rest of the morning like that, in total silence, just breathing. Tenzin couldn’t imagine his mother, who was always busy, always going off to do this that or the other, sitting and breathing like this, in total stillness. He liked it. His body felt loose, and his mind was like the still, clear water that he and his mother went kayaking through, a vast, undisturbed nothingness. 

It was too soon when Dad said, very quietly, “Ease yourself back into the world. Wiggle your fingers, wiggle your toes, and slowly get back up.” 

Tenzin took a few moments, marveling at how life jumped back into his fingers, how his toes moved with an ease that they hadn’t before. “Dad?” 

“Yes, Tenzin?” 

“Can I try the leaf thing again?” 

An emotion passed over Dad’s face that Tenzin couldn’t quite read, but after a couple moments, he pushed again. The wood had been laying idle for the last half an hour, but now it whirred to life again. Tenzin took a deep breath, cleared his mind, and walked through. He sidestepped one hit, then another, moving softly and quietly through. He wasn’t the hard, brittle thing he’d thought himself to be. The rigidity of his normal self was leaving his body. He was a leaf. 

He got checked by a slab at the very last second, and its force knocked him to the ground, but it didn’t matter, because his dad was beaming at him. 

“Great job, Tenzin!” he yelled, clapping him on the back. “That was amazing, I can’t believe you’ve already gotten this far in just a day. You’ve got talent, kid. If, you know, you still want to use it.” 

Tenzin smiled, but he was thinking about the council meeting. What Mom might be up to. He was thinking of the ocean, calm and clear and still. The ocean in his mind. The leaf. It all swirled in his head. 

“Are we going to Uncle Sokka and Aunt Suki’s now?” he said. 

Dad nodded. “Yeah, let’s go see them.” 

Senna was already waiting outside when they arrived. “Tenzin!” she yelled, running up to him and giving him a big hug. She was five, still a baby, but that meant that when it was just the two of them, he was the boss of her. Which was a lot better than Kya and Bumi being the boss of him. He was a nice boss, and so every time Senna saw him she acted like it was the best day ever, even though they saw each other all the time. Tenzin guessed that it was because she didn’t have any siblings yet, although Aunt Suki was going to have a baby any day now. But babies weren’t really any fun to play with.   
“Hi Senna,” he said. “I started Airbending today.” 

“Really? That’s so cool. I can’t wait for Aunt Katara to start teaching me.” 

“Yeah, yeah, bending’s great and all, but have you ever tried a boomerang?” Uncle Sokka said, hugging Senna from behind and rubbing Tenzin’s head. Tenzin grinned. Uncle Sokka was his favorite uncle (he was everybody’s favorite uncle, though Uncle Zuko, Uncle Jet, Uncle Haru, and Dad kept trying to beat him out). 

“Dad, do you think I could Airbend a boomerang?” Tenzin asked, tugging on his dad’s sleeve. 

Dad shrugged. “I mean, if you stick with it, probably. But Airbending is something that takes a lot of practice. Do you want to keep practicing Airbending?” 

Uncle Sokka scoffed. “Who needs Airbending when you can just throw it?” 

Senna giggled, but Tenzin was looking up at his dad. “Yeah. I’ll keep practicing.” 

Dad grinned. “Glad to hear it.” He looked over at Uncle Sokka. “Can we talk?” 

Uncle Sokka rolled his eyes. “Don’t tell me this is about Republic City again. I told you, it’s a bad idea and I think it’s going to come back to bite us in the end.” 

“But Zuko said—” 

“Zuko thinks walking up to a group of people you’ve tried to kill and capture multiple times and introducing yourself is a good idea,” Uncle Sokka grumbled. “Don’t listen to him.” 

Dad crossed his arms. “I just think it could be a great way to—” 

“Aang, not in front of the kids, please,” Aunt Suki said. She was walking really slowly, probably because of how pregnant she was. Not that Tenzin would ever say that out loud. Mom said it was impolite. “Hi Tenzin.” 

“Hi Aunt Suki!” Aunt Suki was his second-favorite aunt (Aunt Mai was his favorite, though he’d never tell his siblings or Senna. They all thought she was scary, but Tenzin knew that she was just misunderstood.) She looked really tired. “Are you okay?” 

Dad covered his mouth, the way he did when he was trying to keep from laughing. “Tenzin,” he said, but the scolding was half-hearted at best. 

Aunt Suki sighed. “Boys.” She looked down at Tenzin. “I will be soon, I promise. And then you’ll have two new little cousins.” 

Senna whipped her head around. “Two?” 

Aunt Suki smiled. “I saw Katara yesterday. Apparently, we’re having twins.” 

Uncle Sokka’s face lit up. “ _Twins_ , Aang, _twins_.” 

“That’s amazing news!” Dad hugged both of them. 

Tenzin saw Senna scrunch up her face, and he knew it was time to go. “Dad, can we go play now?” 

“If it’s okay with Uncle Sokka and Aunt Suki.” 

Tenzin looked up at them. “Please?” 

Uncle Sokka touched his chin with his thumb and his forefinger, like he was thinking. “I don’t know, what do you think, Suki?” 

Aunt Suki smiled. “We could make them stay. I bet they would just love helping me make some clothes for the baby.” 

“And Aang and I could bore them with politics,” Uncle Sokka said, stroking his chin. “Hmmm.” 

Senna rolled her eyes. “Dad, come on.” 

Uncle Sokka chuckled. “Sure kids, go out and play. Come back before bedtime all right?” 

“Don’t go out too far,” Aunt Suki said. “Be safe.” 

“Have fun!” Dad said. 

Senna giggled, and they ran to the shore, where there were a bunch of cool rocks hidden amidst the snow. “Tenzin, look!” Senna yelled, showing him a rock with a bunch of sparkles in it. 

“That’s really pretty. Can I have it?” 

“No, it’s mine.” 

“I’ll trade you this one.” He pulled out a smooth, flat rock. Senna’s eyes grew wide. 

“Okay, trade,” she agreed, shoving the sparkly rock in his hands and snatching up the flat rock. 

They did that for a long time, and for a while Tenzin forgot about everything that had been going on the past couple of days. But then, he caught himself looking out over the water, not sure if he was thinking about kayaking with his mother, or meditating with his father. 

“Senna, do you want to be Southern Water Tribe chief?” 

She frowned. “I don’t know how to play that game.”

He shook his head. “No, I mean when you grow up.” 

“Oh.” She shrugged. “Mama says that I’m gonna be a ‘yoshi.” 

Tenzin groaned. “ _Kyoshi Warrior_ , Senna, I’ve told you a thousand times.” 

Senna looked up, like she was sounding it out in her head. “Whatever.” 

“Do you want to be a Kyoshi Warrior?” 

Senna shrugged. “Mama’s outfit is really pretty.” 

“Having a pretty outfit doesn’t mean that it’s going to be a fun job.” 

“Mama says it’s a fun job. And Dad says that I would be really good at it, because I have,” she said, getting into a fighting stance, “ _killer reflexes!_ ” 

Tenzin turned the glittery rock over in his hands. “But aren’t you scared? Aunt Suki’s gone a lot.” 

“She always comes back.”

“But what if she doesn’t?” 

Senna frowned at him. “You’re mean.” 

“I’m not mean, I’m just—” He sighed. “I’m scared.” 

Senna looked over at him with wide eyes, and squeezed him into a big hug. 

“Mama will come back,” she said, putting the flat rock in his hands. “And being a grown up is going to be fun. And you’re going to be good at it because you’re bossy like your mom.” 

Tenzin laughed and squeezed her arms. “Thanks, Senna.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tenzin grows older, learns more, and changes.

_ “I am the son of Avatar Aang. I am the hope for future generations of Airbenders. I am the son of Avatar Aang.”  _

Tenzin was twelve when his father pulled him aside and told him he was going on his very first trip. 

“You’re a remarkable bender,” Dad said, “and I know you’re ready for this. You’re doing well, Tenzin.” 

Tenzin beamed. “Thanks, Dad.”

Dad smiled. “We leave in two days. Travel light.” 

“How long are we going to be gone?” Tenzin asked. 

Dad thought about it for a moment. “A while, I think. This is a very important trip we’re taking.” 

Tenzin nodded. “Where are we going?” 

Dad shook his head. “It’s a surprise.” 

Tenzin held a sigh in. His dad always did this. It’s a surprise. The joy is in the journey. Loosen up and have fun. How was Tenzin supposed to have fun if he was freezing because he only packed summer clothes, or sweating because he only packed winter clothes?

“Can you at least tell me what the weather’s like?” 

Dad laughed. “I’m the Avatar, kid, not a wizard. Come on, haven’t you figured out temperature control yet?” 

Tenzin soured. “No.” He was well aware that Dad had started bending when he was three, and that by the time he was Tenzin’s age, he already had his tattoos. He didn’t need to be reminded of how much he needed to do to catch up. 

“Well, this is a great time to learn.” He slapped Tenzin on the back. “You want to meditate for a little bit?” 

Tenzin smiled despite himself. “Yeah, sure.” 

They went outside because both of them found the air crisper and better out there than it was inside. Like they could really clear their heads. Tenzin sat down and closed his eyes, breathing deeply. The thought of the mystery trip crossed his mind, but he took a deep breath, saw it, and let it pass with his next exhale. He was on the kayak, in the still water, with his mom. 

Who would be alone this time. 

Tenzin saw the thought, and for a moment, was tempted to hold onto it. But instead, he exhaled, and let it go. Bumi and Kya were still going to be here. She could take one of them kayaking. Kya would love that. 

Tenzin wasn’t sure how long he and his father sat together, just breathing in silence. It was just about the only thing they could do together these days. Tenzin may have been a “remarkable Airbender” but he wasn’t a prodigy like his dad. Nothing came easily to him. Not the leaf in the wind exercise, which had taken weeks to master, and not anything else after that. Certainly not temperature control, a technique that Dad had mastered in just a month when he was Tenzin’s age. 

(Tenzin knew he had to stop reading over his father’s records. They weren’t his to read. Apparently, Uncle Zuko had found them, gathering dust in the archives of a Fire Nation museum, and gave them to Dad, who had locked them away and never spoken of them to anyone. Tenzin wasn’t supposed to find them. Or read them. Or reread and reread and reread them. But there were a lot of things he wasn’t supposed to do.) 

After a while Dad took a deep breath, and asked Tenzin to start wiggling his fingers and toes. He smiled at Tenzin, and Tenzin smiled back. 

“I’m sure the Air Acolytes will lend you clothes, if you need any,” Dad said. “You’ll be fine. It’ll be fun, I promise.” 

Tenzin nodded. “Thanks, Dad.” 

Dad rubbed his head, which Tenzin hated him doing, but he let it slide. Just this once. 

A couple days passed, and he and Dad were ready to go off to… wherever they were going, Dad still wouldn’t tell him. Mom hugged Tenzin really tightly. 

“Oh, my baby, traveling the world for the very first time.” 

“I’m not a baby, Mom.” 

“I’m not a baby, Mom,” Bumi mocked, smirking. He was nineteen, seven years older than Tenzin, but somehow he acted the same way he did when they were kids. Tenzin scowled at him. 

“Bumi, that’s not nice,” Mom said sharply. “Apologize.” 

Bumi rolled his eyes. “Sorry, Tenzin.” 

Tenzin shrugged. “Whatever.” 

Kya crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes, looking between the rest of them. “So, Mom, since Dad and Tenzin are doing their Airbender thing, does that mean that we get to do a Waterbender thing? Can you teach me some more stuff?” 

Mom sighed. “Kya, I’m sorry, I have a council meeting and a million other things to do—” 

“Oh, come on, can’t Sokka fill in for you?” Dad asked. 

“Sokka is very busy meeting with the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom over this whole Republic City project,” Mom said. 

Bumi groaned. “Not again.” 

The Republic City project had been the talk of the village for a year now, ever since Dad and Uncle Zuko announced that they were interested in creating the city. The Earth Kingdom wanted their land back, the Fire Nation said that the Fire Nation citizens who already lived there would have too much trouble adjusting to being Earth Kingdom subjects, and the Water Tribes were, officially, neutral. Tenzin knew that, unofficially, his mother had quite a bit to say about the Republic City project, not much of it positive, but that talk stayed inside their home. 

“I’m just saying,” Mom said. “I’ve got a lot going on right now.” 

Dad looked over at Kya, and then back at Mom. “Do you think you could spare a little time to teach her some more of the advanced stuff?” He smiled that big, sappy grin that was Tenzin’s cue to turn away. “For me?” 

Mom sighed, and after a few moments, replied, “Fine. Kya, dawn tomorrow, no later, okay?” 

“Yes!” Kya squealed. “I won’t be late, Mom, thank you thank you thank you thank you!” She hugged her and hugged Dad, who laughed. 

“Don’t become a master Waterbender while I’m gone, all right, kiddo?”

“How long are you going to be gone, Dad?” 

“Yeah, Aang,” Mom said, looking at him with a soft, exasperated expression. “What’s your plan?” 

Dad looked over at Tenzin, and back at Mom. “Three weeks, give or take.” 

She nodded. “And does Tenzin have enough warm clothes?” 

“Mom!” 

“Your health is more important than how embarrassed you are, honey.” 

“Your health is more important—” Bumi started to say, but Mom shot him a look, and he shut his mouth. 

Dad gave Mom a hug. “Tenzin,” he said, kissing her cheek, “has all the warm clothes he needs,” he said, kissing her other cheek, “and will do just fine,” he finished, kissing her forehead. 

Mom blushed. “Whatever you say.” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too. Bumi, Kya, say goodbye to your brother.” 

Bumi looked over at Tenzin with a bored expression. “Have fun doing Airbender stuff, I guess.” He awkwardly patted Tenzin on the back. 

“Thanks,” Tenzin said. He looked over at Kya. Her eyes, black as the sky on the night of a new moon, were filled with an expression he couldn’t quite name. She looked between him and Mom. 

“Guess we’ll finally find out what it’s like to have alone time with Mom,” she grumbled. 

She walked over to Tenzin and gave him a hug. “We’ll miss you Tenzin.” 

He hugged her back. “I’ll miss you too, Kya.” 

And with that, he and Dad set off on Appa. 

“Now can you tell me where we’re going?” Tenzin asked. 

Dad smiled. “What about the journey, Tenzin? Look at the world around you. Isn’t it beautiful?” 

He gestured to the wide spread of the ocean, still and calm, the bright blue of the sky, with a few clouds dotting the horizon, the hints of land covered in green trees far away. Tenzin looked behind him, back towards home. 

As they traveled, Tenzin tried to practice his temperature control some more, taking deep breaths and trying to make the world around him as warm as his exhales, but to no avail. He shivered, and tried again. 

“You have to stop trying so hard, Tenzin,” Dad said, facing forward, looking towards… wherever they were going. “It’s like meditation. Just breathe, and you’ll be able to do it. Relax.” 

Tenzin scowled. “I’ve been breathing, Dad, but it’s not working.” 

“Because you’re too in your own head. Airbending is about freedom. No part of your body is free right now. I can tell. Did you drop your shoulders?” 

Tenzin dropped his shoulders and tried again. “It’s not working.” 

“You can’t force it. Nothing about Airbending is forced. You have to live in it.” He pointed to the clouds. “See that? Air travels. Air mingles with other elements. We have clouds, we have sandstorms, we have smoke. Air touches every corner of everything you’ve ever known. If you want to master Airbending, you have to learn how to be a part of the world.” 

Tenzin frowned. “I thought Airbending was about being detached from the world.” 

Dad patted the seat next to him. “You like history. Let me tell you some. Come up here.” 

Tenzin scrunched up his nose. “Appa’s moving, Dad. What if I fall?” 

Dad turned to him, grinning. “We’re Airbenders. If you can’t catch yourself, I’ll catch you. Promise.” 

Tenzin nodded, and, cautiously, moved a little so that he was right next to his father. “So, what were you going to tell me?” 

“You know Avatar Yangchen? Air Avatar before me, long black hair, kind of fussy?” 

“Dad, she’s one of the greatest Avatars of all time, you shouldn’t talk about her like that.” 

Dad scoffed. “She’s my past life, I’ll talk about her however I want. Anyway, Yangchen is considered one of the greatest Avatars because of what she did for humanity, ending wars and mediating human conflicts and generally creating peace for the world in her lifetime. She believed that it was her duty, as the Avatar, to connect herself to the world as much as possible, so that’s what she did.” 

“Yeah, she was great,” Tenzin muttered. Another prodigy Air Avatar. Even in stories, he couldn’t get away from them. 

Aang nodded. “She was. And she was a great Airbender. But the more she meddled in human affairs, the worse her Airbending got. I used to hear the monks whispering about it when I was a kid, and it made me terrified. For Yangchen, maybe, it was worth it to sacrifice her connection to Air Nomad culture for the good of the world, but I couldn’t do it, especially after all the Air Nomads were gone. The only piece of them that I had left was my Airbending, and I had to keep that alive as best I could.” He looked out towards the sky. “Everything is about balance, Tenzin. Air mingles with other elements, but ultimately, it follows its own path. It has to remain free. It has to fly on its own, and change and adapt along the way. Does that make sense?” 

Tenzin nodded. “Yeah, I guess so.” It didn’t at all, but he knew his dad would keep talking in circles and he’d never get to an actual answer. He wished Mom were here. 

They kept flying for a long time, through the clouds and the cold, and Tenzin kept trying to control the temperature. Control his thoughts. He thought of how his Uncle Zuko got impatient sometimes and just lit a fire instead of temperature control, even though it was something he could do too. Not for the first time, Tenzin wished he was a Firebender instead of an Airbender. 

He buried the thought before it could gain any traction though. Having slightly more mastery over temperature control wasn’t worth giving up a legacy of talent and kindness, especially for a legacy of warmongering and fear. He didn’t want to shoulder that. Better to be the one who survived than the one who sought to kill. 

“We’re here,” Dad said. 

Tenzin looked down and grinned. “This is where we’re going?” 

“This is where we’re going,” Dad said, grinning back at him. “The Southern Air Temple. Home to one of the greatest Airbenders that ever lived.” 

His dad’s smile turned a little sad. “You know, back in my day, Airbenders were raised communally.” 

Tenzin nodded. He’d read about it, how the monks took every child under their wing as if they were their own. It sounded beautiful to him, like how his mom treated Ata’s children like they were her own, or how Senna and her little brother Bato and her little sister Yue were basically his little siblings. It didn’t matter whose parents were whose, because at the end of the day they were raised in some way by all the adults in the tribe, and that was what mattered. 

“Well, the monk who had the biggest hand in raising me was named Gyatso,” Dad said. “Don’t tell anyone, but he was always my favorite. And he was the greatest Airbender of his generation.” Dad turned away from Tenzin and wiped a tear off his cheek. “I miss him.” 

Tenzin slowly hugged his dad. They stayed like that for a while. 

“He raised me,” Dad murmured. “Well, they all did, but… I ran away when I found out they wanted to take me away from him. I still don’t know what he thought about it. I guess I never will.” 

Dad had never talked like this before, and frankly, Tenzin wasn’t sure what to do. He just squeezed him tighter. “You have me now, Dad,” he said. “And Mom, and Kya, and Bumi, and Uncle Sokka and Aunt Suki and Senna and Yue and little Bato and big Bato and—” 

Dad laughed. “Did you just call your grandfather big Bato?” 

“Well, I—” 

Dad broke the hug. “You’re a good kid, Tenzin. I love you.” 

“I love you too, Dad.” 

And with that, Dad nudged Appa down, and they landed at the Southern Air Temple, where the Air Acolytes were waiting for them. 

Tenzin didn’t really like the Air Acolytes. They fawned over him and Dad every time they saw them, and they were constantly touching him when he didn’t want to be touched, calling him things like the “great gift to the world.” They seemed to forget that he had siblings, and even though Tenzin often wanted to forget that he had siblings too, he didn’t like it when they did it. Dad insisted that the Air Acolytes were here to help, and Tenzin knew that, but it was still weird. Why would people abandon their own cultures for the Air Nomad ways when they didn’t have any Air Nomad heritage? 

After a while and much of his dad’s gentle but insistent prodding, the Air Acolytes left them alone, and together they roamed the temple. Dad showed him the place where he and his friends used to play Airball, and the place where he and Gyatso used to bake pies and cakes and then throw them at the other monks (Tenzin couldn’t imagine throwing a cake at anybody, much less anybody in a position of authority, but he and his dad were different), and then the very center of the temple, filled with statues of every Avatar who ever lived. His statue was in the process of being made, and for a moment, they looked at it together. 

“What do you think?” Dad asked. 

Tenzin frowned at it. “It makes you look regal.” 

“Do you think that’s a good thing?”

“Well, all the other Avatars look that way. Why shouldn’t you?” 

Dad tapped his finger on his chin. “You know, you make a good point. But I don’t know.” He looked up, at all the Avatar statues circling around them. “I don’t know if this will ever make sense to someone who isn’t the Avatar, but these were all just people. They lived really messy, complicated lives. And I just—I don’t know, kid. I don’t know if they wanted to be represented this way. I don’t know if statues are such a good idea.” 

Tenzin thought about it. It didn’t seem like such a bad thing to have a statue of yourself. That would be a wonderful thing, to have a statue of himself in some high place. Tenzin, Man who Reconstructed the Air Nomads. And he would want to look regal in this statue, like his dad did in his. He’d have to learn temperature control before he got any statues made of him though. 

Maybe it was just being an adult that made his dad tire of people adoring him. Maybe all adults were like that. All the adults in his life were humble about their own successes, treated leadership like a burden, cited the importance of teamwork in everything they did. Maybe, once he was grown up, he wouldn’t hunger for glory the way he did now. 

Dad turned to him. “That’s not important, is it? Come on, you like history, right? You want to tell me about some of the other Air Avatars?” 

And Tenzin beamed, because he did, and he loved the way that his dad never tired of his stories even though they went on and on. They circled the temple together, and Tenzin talked for hours about Avatar Yangchen and how she brought an era of peace to the world, and Avatar Seheng, friend to every Spirit who ever walked, and Avatar Rinzen, the second Avatar in the cycle, and the first human after Wan to make sure that humans respected the earth and tended to the wilds so that balance between the Spirit World and the human world could be maintained. Rinzen was his favorite Avatar by far (besides his dad of course) and so he talked longer, about the trouble she had with Firebending and her wife the Firebending trickster Sakura, the one who invented the Taming the Dragon trick solely to sweep Rinzen off her feet. He was rambling, he knew it, and he knew that his dad probably already knew these stories and had probably already heard them before, but every time he stopped out of fear that Dad was getting bored, he asked a question and Tenzin got going all over again. 

“Did you know that it was Rinzen who invented temperature control for Airbenders?” Dad asked. 

Tenzin laughed. “Of course, Dad.” That was a good story too. She’d been so afraid of learning to Firebend that she learned to use her Airbending to do what Firebenders had been doing for decades. 

“Do you want to try it again?” he asked. They were standing in front of Rinzen’s statue, and she had a beautiful, warming smile on her face. Something about this statue was different from all the others. They’d been made out of reverence, but this one looked like it had been made out of love, too. “I have a good feeling about this time.” 

Tenzin nodded, and took a deep breath, cleared his mind. He pictured the ocean, still, vast, without any ripples in it. And he pictured Avatar Rinzen, telling him that he could do it, that he had nothing to be afraid of. 

He was attuned to the air around him, every breath of it. And slowly, he made it heat up, and rise. 

“Tenzin!” Dad yelled, hugging him. “You’re doing it!” 

Tenzin grinned. He was doing it. He really was. 

_______________________

_ “You are not me, and you should not be me. You are Tenzin.”  _

When they got back from the Air Temples, Tenzin threw himself into his training, doing everything he could to learn more. He’d already been reading a lot about Avatar history, but now he delved deeper into Air Nomad history, absorbing as much as he could. All of them were culturally Airbenders—they’d learned how to harvest sky bison fur, spin it, and weave it, and Kya and Bumi had their own adapted gliders for non-Airbenders—but Tenzin was looking for the obscure information, the stuff that Dad might not know off the top of his head. After a lot of internal back and forth, he decided to ask the Air Acolytes to search for any information they had on Air Nomad leaders before the genocide, and every week after he got a package from one of them with some scrap of history, a bit of Guru Laghima’s writings, one of Brother Jinpa’s brushes, a pai sho tile that had once belonged to Monk Gyatso. That last one he gave to his father as soon as it arrived, and more than a little pride seeped into Tenzin’s stomach as he watched his father’s eyes well with tears. 

Tenzin kept detailed notebooks connecting all the things he’d learned. Kya and Bumi helped when they could, especially Kya, which Tenzin was grateful for. Her handwriting was a little messy, but she had insights into Air Nomad philosophy that he never would have come up with on his own. 

He supposed it was because she embodied it more. Dad always said that the core of Air Nomad philosophy and culture was freedom and detachment, but Tenzin couldn’t detach himself from anything. He eavesdropped on the conversations that Mom, Dad, Uncle Sokka, and Aunt Suki were having about Republic City whenever he could, and he refused to speak to his mother for days when she told him he couldn’t go to the Fire Nation with Dad to discuss the new plans. “You’re too young, Tenzin,” she said, a tired look in her eyes. “We need you here.” 

Kya, on the other hand, yawned whenever politics came up, and went into the garden to meditate. It was no effort for her to give up meat and stick to Dad’s vegetarian diet, where Tenzin was constantly dreaming of whale jerky (Dad had said that being vegetarian was a choice, that he didn’t have to do it, but Tenzin did have to do it. He needed to. What kind of role model would he be for future Airbenders if he ate meat?) She and Dad talked constantly about traveling the world, and she was always bugging Mom to tell her about her adventures when she and Dad were kids. It’s like she was born to be an Airbender. Mom tried to teach her to push and pull, like the moon, but Kya just flowed, unprompted. She mingled, but ultimately, she followed her own path. 

They stayed up late in the night together, Kya scribbling in the margins of his notebooks, and he watched her, and something just came over him. “You’re the one who should have been an Airbender.” 

Kya rolled her eyes. “Tenzin, don’t be silly.” 

“I’m serious. If you were an Airbender, everything that’s hard for me would come easy to you.” 

“Yeah?” She closed the book and looked into his eyes. “If you were a Waterbender, everything that’s hard for me would come easy to you.” 

Tenzin frowned. “What do you mean?” 

Kya sighed and flopped onto his bed. “Waterbending requires so much patience. The forms Mom had me start with were all so slow.”

“Dad and I meditate a lot.” 

“Well, meditating is different. When you’re meditating, you can just let yourself go for a little while. You get to just be nothing for a while. You have to move through each Waterbending form so slowly, concentrating the whole time, and you never get to just  _ be _ . You know?” 

Tenzin blinked. He didn’t remember a time in his life where he’d just gotten to be. Or rather, a time where he’d let himself just be. 

“I’ll never be Mom,” Kya said quietly. “Even if I learn every Waterbending form in the world. There’ll always be something I can’t do.” 

Tenzin crawled into bed with her and put his head on her shoulder. “Kya, you know that Mom doesn’t expect you to be her, right?” 

Kya scoffed. “Feels like she does. She’s always telling me to sit up straight, cross my legs, watch my mouth—” 

“She’s like that with us because no one was like that with her,” Tenzin said quietly. “She thinks if we grow up with a mom who’s always looking after us, we’ll grow up better than she did.” 

Kya hugged her chest. “But nobody’s better than Mom.” 

“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that.” He squeezed her elbow. “Mom and Dad went through a lot when they were our age. I think they’re still trying to figure out how to deal with it.” 

Kya rolled her eyes. “Can’t they do that without messing us up?” 

Tenzin laughed. “I wish.” He sighed. “I’m never going to be Dad either.” 

“Well, yeah, he’s the Avatar.” 

“It’s not just that,” Tenzin said, shaking his head. “He keeps telling me to let loose. And I don’t know how to do that.” 

Kya snorted. “That’s because you’re a fuddy duddy, Tenzin. You always have been.” 

“Yeah.” Tenzin smiled. “I don’t want to be.” 

“It’s not a bad thing,” she said, elbowing him softly in the ribs. “Everybody has a way they fit in this world. We’re going to rebuild the Air Nation when we grow up, and right now you know more about Air Nomad history and culture than even Dad does. And Bumi’s great at logistics and I’m—” 

“You’re like Dad,” Tenzin said. 

She nodded. “In some ways. All of us are like him, in the ways that matter. That’s what’s important. Okay? We’re going to do this together, and however long it takes is how long it takes. We’re already doing it, writing all this down. You’ve done so much for the Air Nomads already, Tenzin. I have no doubt that you’re going to do even more.” 

He settled onto her shoulder, getting more comfortable. “Thanks, Kya.” 

“Get off me you big lump,” she muttered. He laughed and moved to face her. There was a comfortable moment of silence between them, and then Kya’s eyes went wide. 

“Hey, Tenzin?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Can I tell you something?” 

He nodded. “Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine, it’s just—I’ve only talked about this with Aunt Suki and it’s scary but I want to—let me start over—” 

“Kya, whatever it is, you can tell me,” Tenzin said, grabbing her hands. “It’s fine.” 

She bit her lip and nodded. “Okay. Okay. So, um, you know Tayi?” 

Tenzin rolled his eyes. “Yeah, she’s been your best friend since you were a baby. Wasn’t she there to see me born? I feel like Mom said—” 

“Tenzin, shut up.” He stared at her, and she covered her face with her hands. “I’m just, I’m sorry, I just really need to say this and then you can say whatever you want, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

She took a deep breath. “Okay, so, Tayi and I are, um. Well. We’re together.” 

Tenzin nodded. “Okay.” 

Kya frowned. “Okay? That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” 

“Is there something else you want me to say?” 

“I don’t know, some kind of reaction, maybe?” 

He didn’t totally understand why she cared so much, given that Grandpa and Bato had been together their whole lives and Aunt Suki was from Kyoshi Island, but he could see that it was important to her to get something from him, so he scooted closer and gave her a hug. “I love you so much, Kya. If she treats you bad I’ll Airbend her to Ba Sing Se.”

Kya laughed, wiping a tear from her cheek. “You always know what to say.” She pulled away. “You’re the third person I’ve told.” 

“Who was the first person?” 

“Aunt Suki, obviously.” 

“And the second person?” 

She blushed a little bit. “Tayi.” 

He laughed. “Well, now you have to tell me everything.” 

She hit him with a pillow. “Little brothers are the worst.” 

They stayed up late, swapping stories about kissing girls (not that Tenzin had, but he’d

imagined how it might feel if he did it with Lin, in the event that Lin ever gave him the time of day.) Kya scrunched up her nose. “I mean, I guess Lin’s a fuddy duddy too. Maybe you two were made for each other.” 

And they went on like that, for hours, in their own little world, loving each other in that completely understanding way that only a brother and a sister could. They had their differences, they always did, but at the end of the day, they were Kya and Tenzin. And they always would be. 

Eventually, Kya left and Tenzin went to bed, only to wake up a few hours later and begin his day. Meditation for a little while, and then practicing his forms, going through as many of the advanced ones as he could think of. This always took a few hours, but this was the one area where Dad said it was important to maintain discipline, and so Tenzin did it and did it and did it. They were all perfect. 

When he was done, he saw Dad standing in the corner, smiling. “You’ve really gotten the hang of that stuff, huh?” 

Tenzin nodded. “I’ll be ready to get my tattoos soon, right?” 

Dad laughed. “That’s a good joke.” 

Tenzin crossed his arms. “I’m serious.” 

“Oh,” Dad said, sitting down. “Okay, I guess it’s time for us to have this conversation.” 

“What conversation? Why is there even a conversation to have? You’d already gotten your tattoos by the time you were my age.” 

“That’s not—” Dad frowned. “Wait a minute. How did you know how old I was when I got my tattoos?” 

Tenzin’s stomach dropped. “I, um… well… remember those records that Uncle Zuko sent over?” 

Dad glowered. “Why did you go through those? Did your sister help you?” 

“No, she had nothing to do with it, I swear, I just wanted to know—” 

“If you wanted to know something, Tenzin, you should have asked me instead of looking through my private things.” 

“You weren’t telling me anything!” Tenzin groaned. “Every time I ask you a question you talk in circles, or you change the subject, or—” 

“That’s no excuse for—” Dad paused, and took a deep breath. “Okay. Let’s start over. Can we start over?” 

Tenzin nodded. “I’m sorry.” 

“Thank you. I appreciate your apology.” He sighed. “I’m not perfect, kid. I never will be. And you and I are… pretty different. That’s not a bad thing at all. It’s just a thing we have to figure out. Okay?” 

“Okay.” 

“Good. I’m sorry for snapping.” 

“It’s okay, you—” Tenzin started to say, but Dad stopped him. 

“It’s not okay. Look, I wish you had asked me before going through those things, but that’s no excuse for me letting my own—my own stuff get in the way of us having a real conversation. Okay? I’m going to try to be better about that.” 

Tenzin nodded. “Thanks, Dad.” 

Dad patted the seat next to him. “C’mere.” 

Tenzin sat by him and looked into his eyes. Dad bit the inside of his lip. “Listen, I don’t know how to do this. I know that someday, I’m going to have to give you your tattoos, but there was a process that the monks went through to decide who got their tattoos when and I—well, I never knew what they talked about behind closed doors. But I do know that it was very rare for someone to get their tattoos as young as I did.” 

That was just a Dad thing, then. Being a prodigy.

“And you are not ready, Tenzin.” Dad put a hand on his shoulder. “I appreciate your enthusiasm for our culture and for Airbending, but you still haven’t figured out what the core of Airbending is.” 

Tenzin narrowed his eyes. “But I’ve mastered all of the forms.” 

“You can master all of the forms of an element and still not know what the core of it is. I didn’t figure out what the ‘core’ of Earthbending was until years after I’d started. I was good at Waterbending ages before I actually understood what it really was.” 

And there he went, talking in circles again. “Okay, so what’s the core of Airbending? What do I need to know?” 

Dad smiled sadly. “I can’t tell you that.” 

“Why not?” 

“Tenzin, I promise, even if I could tell you what it was, it would be so much better for you to understand it yourself. This isn’t like memorizing forms. It’s about integrating Airbending into who you are, making your mastery of it a mastery of yourself. Does that make sense?” 

Tenzin shook his head. “Was it supposed to?” 

Dad laughed. “Maybe. Maybe not. Come on, have you eaten?” 

Tenzin’s stomach grumbled, and he shook his head. 

“Okay, that’s enough Airbending for today, kiddo. Time to eat.” 

When they went inside, Mom grinned at him. “Good morning, Tenzin. Feels like I haven’t seen you all week!” 

Tenzin gave his mom a one-armed hug. “Sorry, Mom, I’ve been busy. Airbender stuff.” 

“Ah.” She rubbed his head affectionately. “You know, this Airbender stuff seems to have been taking up a lot of your time lately.” 

Tenzin dug into the akutaq his mother had prepared for him. “‘M trying to get my tattoos,” he said in between bites. 

“Uh huh.” She sat down with him. “You know, maybe it would do you some good to take a break. Just for a little bit. You know, you haven’t gone ice dodging yet.” 

Tenzin frowned. “I’ve been ice dodging before.” He’d gone the first time with Uncle Sokka and Kya and Bumi when Bumi had turned fourteen and he was just eight, and again with Kya, Senna, and Dad when Kya had turned fourteen. 

“But you haven’t been the leader yet,” she said. “Come on, I could take you, Kya, and Senna out. Or maybe you and the twins.” 

“I don’t want to go with the twins,” Tenzin muttered. They were six now, and little menaces who always got their snot stuck onto everything. He couldn’t be on a boat alone with them. “Mom, I don’t think it’s such a good idea for me to go ice dodging—” 

“I think it’s a great idea,” Dad cut in. “Mom’s right, you haven’t been spending a lot of time with her lately. Besides, ice dodging is a big deal for the young people of the Southern Water Tribe, especially leading the group. Take Kya and Senna.” 

“Senna’s been asking about you, you know,” Mom said. “She misses her big cousin. I told her that he’s holed up in his room all day doing Spirits-knows-what—” 

“Mom,” Tenzin groaned. “Is Kya even going to want to go with me?” 

“Probably when she gets up,” Mom said. “It seems like you two were up late last night. I saw the candles burning in your room until the wee hours.” 

Tenzin shrugged. “She’s been really helpful. With the Air Nomad stuff. Transcribing and interpreting everything.” 

Dad grinned. “I’m so glad that you guys are bonding over this.” 

“Me too,” Mom said. “Go on, wake her up, and then we’ll go get Senna and your Uncle Sokka’s boat.” 

Tenzin nodded, shoveling the last of the akutaq into his mouth and running to Kya’s room. “Get up, we’re going ice dodging.” 

“It’s too early to go anywhere,” she groaned. 

“Too late, Mom decided. She’s taking us.” 

“Wait,” Kya sat straight up. “Are you leading us?” 

Tenzin nodded. Kya’s face burst into a wide grin, and she leapt out of bed to give him a hug. “Oh, Tenzin, that’s so exciting, I’m so proud of you.” She broke away and wiped a tear from her eye. “My little eeny meeny baby brother is growing up!” 

Tenzin rolled his eyes. “You didn’t have to put it like that, but yeah, I guess.” He scowled. “At least one of our parents thinks I’m ready for the rites of passage.” 

Kya’s face softened in sympathy. “For what it’s worth, Tenzin, Mom doesn’t think I’ve mastered Waterbending yet either.” 

“I just—” He groaned. “Dad says that I don’t understand the ‘core’ of Airbending, and of course I don’t understand what the core of Airbending is, because he won’t tell me!” He shook his head. “I’m a good Airbender.” 

Kya nodded. “You are. And one day, you’ll be a great Airbender. You know, between you and me—” she looked both ways before leaning in to whisper conspiratorially into his ear. “I think Dad’s not taking you growing up well.” 

Tenzin rolled his eyes. “You’re not serious.” 

“I am!” she said. “Bumi’s off in the Earth Kingdom, so all they have now is us. And once you and I grow up, the nest is going to be empty.” 

He pursed his lips. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” 

“I usually am.” She nudged him. “Come on, I bet Mom’s going to want to get on the water early.” 

And again, it turned out, Kya was right. Mom was tapping her foot waiting for Uncle Sokka to give up his boat for the day and for Senna to be ready to come out. Lately, she’d been doing her hair in these really elaborate braids, and while Tenzin didn’t understand why she needed to do her hair this much for ice dodging, she did, apparently. When she finally came out, she just had her hair in two braids, but she was grinning ear to ear, so Tenzin decided to tell her that she looked nice. She punched his arm, and he smiled at her. 

“It looks like your mom and my dad are about to get in a shouting match,” she said, smirking. 

Mom was indeed glaring at Uncle Sokka. “Does it really take this long to prepare a boat to go out on the water?” 

“It wouldn’t have taken any time at all if you had let me know beforehand that you wanted to take Tenzin ice dodging  _ today _ ,” Uncle Sokka grumbled. “You know I like to have things settled in advance.” 

“We’re asking to borrow your boat, not your boomerang.” 

“Yeah, because you know that you can’t borrow my boomerang! It’s an antique.” 

Tenzin giggled. Mom turned toward him and smiled before turning her attention back to Uncle Sokka. “Are you done now?” 

“Oh, excuse me for trying to make sure that my sister, niece, nephew, and daughter don’t die out on the open sea!” 

“Ah, yes, your sister, niece, nephew, and daughter, three of whom are Waterbenders, out on the open sea. Poor us.” 

“Hey, there are things in the ocean that even Waterbenders can’t handle,” Uncle Sokka pointed out. “Besides, what about Tenzin?” 

Mom scoffed. “Tenzin can practically fly.” Tenzin glowed with pride. Somebody was proud of his Airbending (even if she wasn’t always vocal about showing it.) 

“They’re kids, Katara. Aren’t you the one always reminding me and Aang of that?” Uncle Sokka tinkered with the boat a little more and sighed. “Okay, I think she’s ready to go. But be careful. Tenzin, no stunts, you hear me?” 

Mom rolled her eyes. “When your uncle went ice dodging—well, rock dodging, I guess—he had us go through an area that was practically uncrossable, and he wouldn’t even let Bato help.” 

“I had the Avatar and the world’s greatest Waterbender on my side, what could possibly go wrong?” Uncle Sokka winked at them. Mom groaned. 

“Come on, kids, get on the boat.” She turned to Uncle Sokka. “Thank you, Sokka, for lending us Senna and the boat.” 

“No problem, just make sure they both come back in one piece or you’re dead to me. And

Tenzin.” 

Tenzin turned towards him, and he saw Uncle Sokka, his favorite uncle by far, beaming at him with pride. “Good luck out there.” 

Tenzin ran to him and gave him a hug. “I won’t let you down.” 

“You better not, that boat’s an antique too.” 

“Sokka, I promise you nothing you own is an ‘antique.’” Mom said, smiling fondly at him. 

“Hey!” 

“See you later!” 

“Bye Uncle Sokka!” 

“Bye Dad!” 

“Good luck everybody!” Uncle Sokka yelled, giving them a wave. Kya hoisted the sails, Senna manned the rig, and Tenzin stood at the helm. 

Mom sat on the floor. “All right, Tenzin. Good luck.” 

Tenzin nodded and got into the steering position. “Kya, you secure the mainsail. Senna, you control the jib.” 

“Aw, but I always do the jib,” Senna whined. “Can’t I do the mainsail?” 

“Tenzin should probably do the mainsail,” Kya said. “I’m better at controlling the jib anyway.” 

“Kya, this is my test,” Tenzin said. “But you’re right. I’ll do the mainsail, Kya you do the jib. Senna, you steer.” 

Senna beamed. “Thank you, Tenzin! I promise it’ll turn out just fine.” 

_ It better _ , Tenzin thought. But he knew it would. He was playing to Kya’s strengths, and to his own. Senna had never steered while she was with them, but it was her dad’s boat, and he knew that Uncle Sokka had to have taught her how to steer, and she was probably better at it than either he or Kya was. 

His assumption proved correct just a few seconds later, when Senna spotted their first block of ice and yelled “Steady!” They went around the ice and missed the next glacier just by a hair, but it was enough. Tenzin grinned at her. 

“You’re doing great, Senna!” 

She grinned back at him. “Kya, ease up on the jib! Give Tenzin some room!” 

Kya did, and they swerved around the next ice column, sailing clearly into the open sea. Mom’s eyes were bright and sparkling as she watched them. Tenzin sent a little gust of wind into the mainsail, swerving them slightly to the left, avoiding another bit of ice. 

They worked seamlessly, the kind of teamwork that can only be seen from people who grew up with each other, can finish each other’s sentences, know each other’s every move. And, to Tenzin’s surprise, it was just as fun as he remembered. He thought of ice dodging as something that he had done for Bumi and Kya, but now that he was calling the shots, it clicked for him just how much fun it was. The ocean was rough and unsteady, ready to collapse them at any moment, but he knew how to handle himself and how to lead his sister and his cousin through it, and that knowledge brought him freedom. It let him finally, for once, be loose. 

Mom got up and clapped her hands. “Well done, Tenzin.” She beamed at him. “There will be songs for you yet, mark my words.” She turned to Kya and Senna. “Both of you did fabulously as well. Senna, I don’t think I’ve seen such skilled steering since I went with your father when we were kids.” 

Senna blushed. “Thank you, Aunt Katara.” 

“And Kya.” Mom put a hand on her shoulder. “The mark of a great Waterbender is learning to push and pull, and the mark of a great sister is pushing your brother in the right direction. You did well.” 

Kya’s face lit up, and Tenzin couldn’t help but feel pride in his sister, to beam as she beamed. 

When they got back to shore, Mom got out the paint and smiled at all of them. “For Senna, the Mark of the Trusted. You undertook a great task today, and you executed it with style. Well done.” 

Senna looked down at the floor shyly. “Thank you.” 

Mom smiled at her before moving onto Kya. “For you, Kya, the Mark of the Wise. The same mark that I received.” 

Kya glowed even brighter, if that was even possible. 

“And for Tenzin, the Mark of the Brave.” She painted it onto his face. “You know, I think you might have some more insight into your dad’s question after today. Do you think so?” 

Tenzin nodded. For the first time, he understood exactly what his father wanted from him, in the clearest terms possible. 

When he got back home, he marched up to his father and said, “Dad, I got it.”

Dad smiled. “You think so?” 

“I  _ know _ so,” Tenzin said proudly. He’d felt it out on the water, the boundaries between him and the rest of the world dissolving, his spirit mingling with everything else and still forging its own path. “The core of Airbending is freedom.” 

Dad nodded. “You’re right. But can you make that a part of your bending?” 

“He already did,” Mom said behind him as she stood in the doorway. “I saw it. He looked so fluid out there, just like you did when we were kids.” 

Dad looked at her with a fond expression. “Did he really?” 

“I think it’s high time you give this Airbending master his tattoos,” Mom said, rubbing Tenzin’s shoulder. 

Dad looked at Tenzin, and Tenzin tried to puff up his chest, to look serene, to do anything he could in these moments to seal the deal. He knew he was ready. He knew it. This was the final piece.

“Okay,” Dad said finally. “Let’s get this Airbending master his tattoos.” 

It was some weeks later when the ceremony finally happened. It was a quiet affair, just family. Bumi had tried to get passage back to the Southern Water Tribe, but he couldn’t get it in time, but Tenzin got a letter filled with congratulations and well wishes from him, as well as from Uncle Zuko, Aunt Mai, Aunt Ty Lee, Uncle Jet, Uncle Haru, and Aunt Toph. He and Dad sat in front of the family that were able to show up. Mom’s eyes were filled with tears. 

Tenzin was in a long orange cloak with a hood, his eyes covered. The tattoo was healing, but it still stung on his skin. He and Dad had done a lot of research, together, to figure out how it was supposed to be done (although Tenzin still thought it would have been a lot easier for Dad to just talk to the past Air Avatars, but that was neither here nor there). 

“Tenzin, come forward,” his dad said. 

Tenzin did, taking his hood off to reveal his perfectly bald head and his tattoos, from his forehead, curling all the way down to his hands and feet. 

“Tenzin is the first Airbending master of the new generation of Air Nomads,” Dad continued, wiping away a tear from his cheek. “He has shown me how to be a better leader, a better Airbender, and most importantly, a better father. He is destined for great things, and I think I speak for all of us when I say that I’m excited for what he’s going to accomplish.” He crouched down to whisper in Tenzin’s ear. “I’m going to be with you every step of the way. I promise.” 

And Tenzin believed him. 

Even days after his ceremony, there was so much work to be done. Tenzin knew that there was so much more material in the Air Temples to be transcribed, to be interpreted. Someday, there would be more Airbenders to teach, a whole nation to rebuild. Tenzin had to be ready. 

He was deep in the middle of a book of sayings from Avatar Secheng when his mother came up to him. “Tenzin, can I talk to you for a moment?” 

Tenzin sighed and closed the book. “What is it, Mom?” 

She sat down next to him. “Are you enjoying that book?” 

He nodded. “What do you want?” 

She sighed. “Okay. Tenzin, honey, you know I’m so proud of you for getting your tattoos, and your commitment to leading future generations of Air Nomads. You are your father’s son, you really are. And I love you so much.” She smiled at him. “I just—I miss you, Tenzin. Remember when it would be just the two of us, and we would go kayaking? Maybe we can do that again today?” 

Tenzin felt his stomach fill with guilt, looking into his mother’s tired brown eyes. But ever since he’d gotten his tattoos, he felt like he was running out of time. Or maybe he’d always felt this way. It was his destiny, to lead the Air Nomads, and he had to complete as much of that destiny as he possibly could, as quickly as he possibly could. Someday, he would look back at this moment, and regret the time he wasted. 

“Maybe tomorrow, Mom,” he said. “I’m sorry.” 

Mom nodded. “That’s okay. Whenever you’re ready.” She stood. “I’ll let you get back to your book.” 

_______________________

Present

Tenzin and Kya sat on a log. Kya’s arms were crossed, and her shoulders were slumped. “You don’t visit her enough. She’s always talking about you, always thinking about you. And you never make the time to see her.” 

There were a million things he could say, about his work in Republic City, about Pema, about the future, but he didn’t say any of them. “You’re right.” 

“Of course I’m right,” she said, a smile tugging at her lips. “I always am.” 

Tenzin exhaled. They were going to be okay. “You remind me so much of him. You were always the most like him, of all of us.” 

She uncrossed her arms and set her hands in her lap. “I miss him so much, Tenzin. I know it’s been six years, but—” 

“It never stops hurting,” he finished for her. “You know, that was six years that I was the only Airbender in the whole world. If something had happened to me… Dad would have been so disappointed.” 

Kya leaned on her shoulder. “Dad just wanted you to be okay, Tenzin. That’s what they both wanted for all of us.” 

“I know.” He put his arm around her. “Are we okay?” 

She nodded. “As long as you promise to bring your wife and your little Airbender kid around to visit.” 

“I promise,” he said quietly. “I think Pema likes it down here anyway. She was complaining about Republic City being too hot.” 

Kya laughed. “You know, speaking of Dad, you haven’t gotten the chance to meet Senna and Tonraq’s kid yet, have you? There’s whispers around her around town. They think she might be…” 

Tenzin resisted the urge to laugh. Of course Senna, one of Uncle Sokka and Aunt Suki’s three Waterbending daughters, the only one of them who had decided that she’d had her fill of adventure and excitement—of course it would be her.

“Come on,” Tenzin said. “I’d love to meet her.” 

_____________________

_ “I am not a reflection of my father. I am Tenzin. I am Tenzin.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really appreciate everyone who read this! as a mixed person lok's depiction of mixed families was Not It and I sincerely hope that I did justice to this character who I love a lot (even though he was extraordinarily difficult to write jfldsjkfs) and to the concept of a more realistic mixed family.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading! kudos and comments appreciated. follow me on tumblr @nonbinary-crafter aang! please consider donating to the [ Navajo Water Project ](https://www.navajowaterproject.org/), an organization providing clean water to Dine folks across three states.
> 
> fic title from "Let Him Fly" by my girl Patty Griffin.


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